myjourneyfromfattofit

March 7, 2011

The Begining

Filed under: Thoughts for the day — Tags: , , , — myjourneyfromfattofit @ 1:49 pm

my journey started in September, it’s been a bumpy ride so far and the following are a few entries from the early days.  I began a journey of Clean Eating – that means no processed foods, no refined sugars, no chemical sweeteners or additives.  This is not an easy habit to change after a lifetime of eating everything I am no longer allowing into my body.  I hope you enjoy sharing my journey.

weds. Oct. 13, 2010

I have spent my life gaining and losing weight.   When this challenge came along it was at just the right moment for me to say, “ok, this is your time to take care of you” and I jumped aboard.  I decided a couple of years ago that I didn’t like my life anymore so I returned to University again to obtain another degree.  At this point I am in the home stretch, and while I was excited I was also horrified.  you see I went back to school to get a degree in Therapeutic Recreation, to help people get back to independent leisure functioning.  My horror is at the fact that 2 years ago I was fit, I fueled my body properly, I lifted weights and ran 5k 3times a week.  I was the perfect example of what a TR person should be.  Then I fell off the bandwagon, hard.  I became the typical student and slowly stopped all my exercising and began convenience eating.  I made the excuses that with 6 courses a term and 30 hours a week work I had no time for exercise and good food.  With the excuses came the weight again.  I look in the mirror now and am completely disgusted, I am so fat I look like I might be preggo! I don’t have a muffin top I have a tractor tire on top of my pants!

I must confess I am a complete sugar, carb and chocolate junkie – if there was a way I could eat only white bread with butter, white pasta with lots of cheese and chocolate and be healthy that is literally all I would ever eat again! soooo the first few days of EC were shear torture.  I spent so much time in the bathroom because my body was freaking out at the real food and actual nutrients that I was considering putting my pillow and blanket in there and just camping out!  Every second of the day I was craving something, ANYTHING!!!! At one point my boyfriend made a sandwhich and the smell of the bread just about sent me into a tailspin I was ready to leap across the couch and tackle him for it!

A few days in and my body calmed down a bit and things got easier – I love to cook and it has been fun being creative in the kitchen – last week I made an eat clean lasagne and served it to my family without telling them it was EC and they loved it!  I am sleeping better, my belly feels less bloated, I have more energy already and I lost 10 pounds and fit into a pair of jeans that have spent the last year in the back of my closet!

I was elated! so elated in fact that I agreed to go out to dinner with my man – so so so sooooo not a good idea.  we went for chinese buffet – that pretty much says it all – buffet – oink oink – what a HUGE mistake! I was never so sick in all my life as I was after I ate that “meal” you would think that would be enough of a lesson – nooooooo it started a ball rolling and I spent the last week eating all the garbage I could find – suddenly my body is used to crap again – and that is what actually scared me into getting back on the EC bandwagon.

 I am now once again craving junk feeling sluggish and working right beside the candy isle yesterday at my job was like dangling herion in front of a junkie – it was actually painful not to dive into it! LOL

I hope that this week was my lesson and I can stay on the eat clean path – I have about 82 pounds left I need to lose to be healthy

Dear sugar,

Oh how I have loved our cosy little moments on the couch and in the car,
all those secret times we met and I hid your wrappers in my dresser,
I even loved the thrill you gave me from our clandestine meetings.

But alas, dear sugar my jeans are not so much your fan as I am and
they have given me an ultimatum, its either you or them,
unfortunately I like my jeans more than I like you so,
I have no choice, we are breaking up, today

don’t be sad you will find another sugar mama to take my place
i wish you all the best, no hard feelings
but i really want to get back together with my jeans
so you have to go

x,o

fat2fitgrrl

Fri. Oct. 15,2011

Sabotage my Sabotage

the title says it all……I really need to once and for all kick the shinola outta my self-sabotaging ways!  I was knocking the hell outta this whole eat clean thing….was *sigh* I started on labour day and after a couple of days I was getting in my EC groove, I was losing weight, feeling great, less bloated…life was good on the EC train.  then KABLAM!!! I collided with a choclate bar.  Actually it was a multi treat pile up in my mouth if I’m to be purrfectly honest….chocolate, pop, chips, cake, candy, fast food.  If I’m gonna fall off the wagon I’m fallin hard for sure LOL Once again like my experience with chinese buffet after EC I became better acquainted with all the tiles in my bathroom, I thought I might have to start having my mail delivered there I was in there sooooo long.  So you would think that would teach me…..HA! not likely! as much as my body was yelling WHAT ARE YOU THINKING???? my brain was answering it with ummmm I’m thinking chocolate and cheeseburgers and milkshakes OH MY!

I lost 10 pounds in a little over 2 weeks on the EC and then here I go and sabotage myself????? what the eff? I spent the last week and a half eating my way back to finding 8 of those lost 10 pounds! I would have loved to throw my scale out the window, but it’s not the scales fault I ate like a pig and didn’t put anything remotely healthy into my body for a week straight

I wrote sugar my break up letter – and I actually meant it – yet here I am living with your pain in the butt side effects again……I’m so good at breaking up with people who are no good to me …….why is it so so sooooooo hard to break up with food that treats me wrong? is there such a thing as a sugar restraining order? ohhhh wait thats called willpower right? well I need to buy me some of that! haha.

I’m back on the bandwagon again and I plan on this being a permanent move…but I have to confess that it took me 2 days to stop thinking about eating clean again and actually DOING IT! Today I feel like I’m coming off some serious drugs, I’m lethargic, my head has been pounding all day and I have some serious trumpet trousers on today girls! haha! but…..i know that I just need to keep doing the right thing and in another day or two I’ll feel good and eventually i’ll look good.

I keep hearing the beastie boys song sabotage blasting in my head…maybe thats it I need to compile a play list to keep me on the eat clean train..hmmmm milkshake by kelis, cherry pie by warrant……okey maybe not so much  

so I’m not really a debbie downer….. and I realllllllyyy am not whiney….well ok I kind of am…just a little…..just when I want my boyfriend to do something for me LOL but anyway I digress……

Tues. Nov.2,2010

Halloween Smalloween
I have been a little stress ball lately about Halloween – you see it’s my favorite time to binge – ok well next to my birthday, my mom’s birthday, christmas, exam time etc etc. LOL alright it’s just a time of year I normally rationalize my binge.  I am working part time in retail while I finish up my second degree and all day long people come through my cash with boxes upon boxes of chocolate bars and candy and I have been seriously tempted to slide a few boxes under the counter instead of in thier bag!  I have really wanted to just caress and hug those bad little treats passing under my nose every 10 seconds.

so needless to say the last couple of weeks has been a battle of my will – I have not eaten any Halloween candy but I did go out and buy myself an 85% cocoa choco bar and had a little affair with it. I wanted to take it to bed and roll around it with it that’s how bad i wanted that chocolate bar haha!

I’ve also been working evenings the last week and subsequently have missed my boxing class – I have to say i have noticed that my energy has been lower and I’ve been kind of lazy as well – i just came home from work and sacked out on the couch with the man.

as a result I have not lost a single pound this week – first time since i started the EC lifestyle that I have not lost anything – now I know there are  plateau periods btu i don’t think I have done enough to really hit a plateau phase yet  – I really  feel it’s because I allowed myself to get a little lazy and ate a giant chocolate bar 85% cocoa or no the serving size was NOT the entire bar LOL

soooooo I am committing to making sure I work out at home any night that I work to late to make it to boxing – I have a gazzillion work out videos I certainly have no excuse not to be utilizing them – I’m kicking my own butt back on the train and staying focused – i have a single minded obsession to become the healthiest, fittest, most athletic person I can be

** shortly after this post I ended up leaving my boxing class for the time being.  I injured my wrist and decided I needed to get used to moderate activity before taking on such an advanced activity.

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