myjourneyfromfattofit

March 7, 2011

Borrowing my determination

Filed under: Thoughts for the day — Tags: , , , — myjourneyfromfattofit @ 2:26 pm

I have been on this journey for a while now and some days are better than others.  My bf gave me a gym membership for xmas, yes he is still living and breathing haha! I actually wanted the membership.  How else am I going to get to where I want no NEED to be?  I have to confess though that until about 2 weeks ago I have been wasting his money.  I could not get the courage, yes courage up to go to the gym.  This is strange for me because I used to be a regular at the gym, I went faithfully 5-6 times a week, did an hour of cardio and an hour of weights.  I used to raise eyebrows in the good ‘ol boys club that is the free weight section because I could lift just like those good ‘ol boys in fact in most cases I could lift more. *sigh*

I have this memory of myself in great shape, friends describing me as athletic. Can you imagine? me! Athletic!!!  Those memories instead of motivating me as they should contributed to this negative tape in my head playing over and over: “your too fat to do this”, ” your too out of shape to even climb the stairs to the gym”

I remember what it was like to be fit, and i know how much work i have to do to get back there and it scared me so much it took away my motivation and determination.

Then I started to feel guilty about not using my membership and wasting my bf’s hard earned dough, soooo I forced myself to get off my big butt and went to the gym.  it was not pleasant but it was also not as humilitating as I had imagined.  However, the next day I could not muster the determination to go again and stayed away for several days. 

then I was reading a post by one of my professors and she was talking about borrowing what we need to get us to where we want to be.  borrow your motivation, your determination etc. 

hmmm borrow you say? Borrow I did.  I borrowed from the fitness models I see in health magazines, I borrowed from the fit grrl I used to be, I borrowed from my friend in Italy who lives the life she always dreamed of.  in short i borrowed from everywhere I could think of and subsequently it has brought me through the doors of that gym 4 days last week and I hope 5 this week. 

Maybe by next week I won’t need to borrow, but if I do I know where to go looking.

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15 Comments »

  1. Yeah, your a blogger! COngrats. You’ll love it here, Im addicted …. really addicted. I love writing now, Im possessed by it.
    And one day at a time bella.

    Comment by Jennifer Avventura — March 7, 2011 @ 2:49 pm

  2. I was too excited to leave you a comment that I didn’t read this most in entirity, awww….keep on borrowing my friend, anytime you need.

    Comment by Jennifer Avventura — March 7, 2011 @ 2:56 pm

  3. You go girl! Borrow away!

    Comment by TA Loeffler — March 7, 2011 @ 11:00 pm

  4. http://en.forums.wordpress.com/topic/please-welcome-a-new-wp-blogger?replies=1#post-570414

    Here is a link to the forums. I took the liberity of introducing you to the community. I’m still a newbie but I’ve received plenty of support and wonderful information. Let’s Write About It*.

    Comment by Jennifer Avventura — March 8, 2011 @ 9:32 am

  5. welcome to the blogging world , enjoy it

    Comment by harrythehandyman — March 8, 2011 @ 10:31 am

  6. Welcome, welcome! I’ve never seen this theme used before. I have a feeling it’s gonna suit you just fine. 🙂

    Comment by bats0711 — March 8, 2011 @ 11:59 am

    • thanks so much! I thought it was a fitting theme, and well I happen to looove banana smoothies 🙂

      Comment by myjourneyfromfattofit — March 8, 2011 @ 2:15 pm

  7. congratulations on going 4 times. I know how hard it is to get that motivation. We dread going, like it is too much effort, yet then at the end of the day its like, “wow, Im glad I went”.

    Good luck on your new journey and blog.

    Comment by lifewith4cats — March 8, 2011 @ 4:36 pm

  8. Love the idea of “borrowing!” Going to try that. Am on a weight reduction / fitness plan, and I need some motivation and COURAGE. Going to borrow lots of it! Thanks … great blog. John

    Comment by John McLaughlin — March 9, 2011 @ 8:34 pm

  9. I love this. My borrowing is for actually doing some uni work. Borrowing motivation to study, to get an internship and actually enjoy uni life.

    I’ve tried many times to borrow motivation to go to the gym but it always leaves right before I find my car keys 😛

    Comment by disposablebanter — March 16, 2011 @ 11:16 am

  10. I empathise completely!!! 🙂

    Now you’ve made me feel guilty! 😦

    Comment by Team Oyeniyi — March 23, 2011 @ 6:16 am

  11. What a brilliant idea to ‘borrow’ motivation, or whatever you need to get you through.

    I have come to the conclusion that I hate gyms (though I loved doing weights when I was a regular gym-goer). So I am working on doing activities that don’t feel like exercise, but are definitely fun. At the moment, I’m re-training in ice skating and inline skating. I’m also learning to swim. The plan is to get good enough at all of these, so I can do them with confidence. Then maybe I will no longer be a tub of lard, but a swelte, fit looking pie.

    Comment by pienbiscuits — March 24, 2011 @ 9:17 pm

  12. I just discovered Wii Dance. Its one heck of a work out. The good thing, since its in the privacy of home.. I can do it in my Jammies, or even my birthday suit. 🙂

    Comment by lifewith4cats — March 25, 2011 @ 1:18 am


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